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thewhimmed [userpic]

back to livejournal. wordpress has too many crashes, too many back stage pages whose place and function i don't understand.

no home internet, so i write in a text editor, transfer here away from home. i need to go back home and clean for tomorrow's housing inspection. avoiding that level of solidity.


from wordpad, earlier today:

stranger, friend,
wait, wait, you are not supposed to love me.
i will carry great anxiety, we had an agreement for judgment.
i will disdain you, and you will return the favor or quail with
inadequacy. stalemate or win, that is what i signed for.
if you love me, i lose. i was not worthy of your love.
i have forgotten respect.
if i am lucky,. lucky. you will envy me.
this i see all around me.
i am not fitting nicely back into all layers of my home society. people are having trouble with my energy. i am not communicating that i carry the agreements required, the money biased, valuation obligations, balance sheet of shame to have nots or arrogance of righteous haves (the left right agreement), awe and reverence for structure and order and excess; well, i've not had that energy for too long already, not enough, not long enough. i came home too happy, and some people don't like it. i had a pretty fight with a friend who does not applaud the success or joys of others, unless they are far outside her circle, so in part that matter is discounted already. unfortunately she is at times mean to those close to her, finds a cracked door and kicks it open, stomps around a bit. it was an abrupt transition. specifics miss the point. an argument with grandma about whether or not the beautiful dance happy music i heard at the world rhythm festival was music or just noise. in defense, she didn't hear it, and she grew up without drums. an argument with the social worker at the department of social and health services where i found myself loudly defending all dshs clients while she called them irresponsible, lazy, said she didn't work for me or them, and that we didn't work at all. i cried two of the three times, in public. not with grandma. she's not mean; we just have different understandings of the universe. and a couple of people have been drawn to the energy i came home with. i want to hold it, to keep it. i fear it slipping. it is better. i found it in the snow, in the wind, in new warm dirt, in fire, in smoke, in pitch, in trees, in a young wolf dog, in the eye of a young buffalo, what the earth said when i lay long on her skin where it is healthy. health is here too, in some parts in some places, almost. noise has stolen the air, but in the forest, water flows and earth is building, resting easy. it is windy today.
i have a new friend, i have two new friends, i have three new friends. one is not so much new as newly realized. she's my neighbor. i have inspection tomorrow (by fineboy i think!) so i really shouldn't, but maybe i'll ask her if she wants to go to the beach for a bit. (i have four new friends. i have six new friends, 8910:))

Current Mood: www.there.unm
thewhimmed [userpic]


i just lost my myspace blog. they changed their policy, with no notice since sometime yesterday, and all my privacy settings on there have been instantly homogenized. all my information there is now either friends, or public. no private. f. if any of my old friends are here, you have to know how completely fucked this is. i can't even publish a new address without first deleting a large catologue. can my friends read the blog entries i've had marked private? i don't even know.

how do i save that writing? i printed my livejournal once. before some policy changed. does anyone know if there is a way to do that again? and, how are lj and 6aprt these days?

thewhimmed [userpic]

thewhimmed [userpic]


thewhimmed [userpic]

slow, slower, slower, your patience is requested, no required, if you are to receive what i offer. perception changes with your pace friend. can i show you what you've never seen? ~come.

thewhimmed [userpic]

thewhimmed [userpic]

this is so cool and gross!

thewhimmed [userpic]

..i don't care much about this story, but i thought the following bit was funny:

"The transactions which involved the fraud were simple.. using extremely sophisticated and varied techniques," chief executive Daniel Bouton said in a letter to the bank's customers.

thewhimmed [userpic]

What kind of Pagan are you?
You scored as a Shamanic Pagan
A shamanic pagan's roots are generally found in Native American faith. A true love and respect for the earth and all that it yields is central to their faith. Wisdom is most often found in spirit guides or totems, who can be animals, ancestors, or spirits. Pagans who follow this path tend to be far more aware of the delicate web that interweaves the lives of every person and thus move within that web accordingly They're usually deeply insightful, friendly, loving people and excellent friends and parents. Mysterious and strong, as well, they are often the protectors of their friends and family as well as the moral compass for their friends and loved ones.

Shamanic Pagan 85%
Zoroastrian Pagan 60%
Celtic Pantheonic Pagan 50%
Kabbalistic Pagan 45%
Eastern Pagan 45%
Ecclectic Pagan 40%
Egyptian Pantheonic Pagan 20%
Greek Pantheonic Pagan 15%
Roman Pantheonic Pagan 15%
Sumerian, Babylonian, 10%
and Mesopotamian Pagans
Norse Pantheonic Pagan 5%
Catholic (Pagan?) 0%

sorry i couldnt share because to get code requires my password yeah right.
htp://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=11726 i guess that's one way to keep lj out of my business.

Current Mood: looking for the red road
thewhimmed [userpic]

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Imperial Majesty Sharla Whimmed the Surprised of Deepest Throcking
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

..i told you so

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